Walk with flow of waves
Today I want to pen down About the tornado running inside me… hopefully I can..:)
It happened earlier and it is going to happen again, my life changed after marriage and I came here though I never wanted to, reason being I never want to leave my country and family and plus I always afraid about living in strange country, where you get people of your own kind but most of them forget about their own roots and are running in the race of to be like others they are living with, I mean like English. I know it will not be easy and I know I have to struggle with all unexpected, expected circumstances and including myself.. It happened and I can say that the time I have spent in UK was the bad time of my life, ya it could have worst but my husband did not let it be.. I am sorry hubby but you know it was not easy for me to staying away from family and even my friends went away from me giving excuse that I am not there for them, staying alone and with some worst people.
After spending lot of time here, A feeling that always insist me to go back to India is going away. Now I want to achieve the things I have not achieve yet, I want to believe in the dream of my husband, I want to do something for him, I want to stay beside him, I want to accept the challenge and I want to motivate myself.
Now I realised I have given the chance to people to laugh at me, to criticise me,to say whatever they want, to take me as granted. Who are they, Have they come and give me food and shelter, have they know me, what I am and What I was. Hell with them. I want to achieve dreams of my hubby so that my own dreams. No, I do not want to proof myself to anyone, I do not need and I do not care.
Now I just want to gain my confidence that I have lost some where, I want to be Neetu Singh I used to be, Who was strong enough to fight with anything, who never care about people and about what they think and they say about her. She used to live in her own world.
I accepted my fate that whatever I will do for anyone, that will not be get appriceated.
I am not sure about my next step but from today I will work on our dreams, me and my husband and give my hundred percent to achieve them, even if I fall somewhere I know my husband is there to hold me and take me with him.
It hurt lot when every one left me alone here, my beloved one, when I needed them most, they were not there, they set excuse for me that I left them, I went away, But for them all, Is that going away means you should leave me alone, I never thought that any distance can make me away from my friend’s heart, they will give-up so easily and they will not support me.. I was broken half when I came away from my family and when my friends too went away I was broken fully and Now.. I want to forget everything and start a fresh, I want to stay happy and be the one I used to be.. No more sad things.. Good bye forever to Emotional and fool Neetu Singh..
I love my friends and family, It will feel lovely if they support me and if they do not want even then I am fine and happy.. 🙂
Isha my darling sister thnx for being there for me when ever I need you, I am thankful to God that he sent you in my life… You love have given me strength to stand again and walk on my own feet.. Love you lot.. hugs tightly..